When You Come Back To Me Again
by obsessedwithstabler
Summary: She accepted the blanket and gently laid it over her partner’s bloody and naked form, carefully tucking it around him. He had never looked so small and vulnerable as he did right then, and it tore Carolyn’s heart out of her chest.
1. On A Prayer

The idea for this little tragic, angst filled story came to me when I was listening to the amazing song When You Come Back To Me Again, by Garth Brooks. It's going to be very graphic and hopefully very long and detailed, because since this a story that is the first of it's kind, I really want everyone to become glued to it. It's also my very first full length story that revolves around Mike and Carolyn. The first chapter is rated T, but later chapters will be rated M, so read them at your own discretion, please. Now read, enjoy, and please remember: No throwing sporks at the writer! Thank you.

Disclaimer: They're not mine... all I have is a Twinkie...

This first chapter is dedicated to Confused for reading and rereading it, and to Infinity Star, for helping me nail down the emotions of these very complex individuals. Thanks, girls!

He was surrounded by darkness. Every time he tried to move, his entire body protested, and a pain unlike any he had ever known surged through him. He could hear voices, but he couldn't understand what they were saying, and it frustrated him.

He tried to move again, and a small moan passed his lips, the sound foreign to his own ears. As the fog cleared, he could hear a gentle voice whispering to him, and he strained to understand the words.

"Shh, Mike. I've got you. I've got you," the tender voice cooed, and he felt a soft hand against his cheek. Suddenly his hands were free, and he felt two arms circle his upper body, holding him tenderly. The soft voice suddenly became urgent, and he heard them yell something about a bus and blood loss. He couldn't make sense of anything but the soft and gentle arms that were cradling him close.

Suddenly the memories hit him, and he began to panic, struggling against the person who was holding him. But he was too weak to offer much of a fight, and he finally gave in and collapsed against the warmth and security of the comforting arms. The gentle hand caressed his forehead, and he turned into the soft material, burying his face in it. Bits and pieces of his memory of the attack were pouring over him like ice cold water, and he shuddered and closed his eyes.

The voice spoke again, and Mike froze as he finally realized whose arms he was cradled in. Carolyn.

"It's okay, Mike. It's going to be okay," she murmured over and over again, holding him to her with one arm, and using the other hand to stroke his back and neck. She realized that his blood was seeping through her clothes, and it took everything she had inside of her to keep from throwing up, or screaming.

Finally the paramedics crouched down beside her, and she reluctantly allowed then to lift Mike out of her arms. But as soon as they tried, he panicked and began to thrash in an attempt to ward off what he perceived as another attack.

Carolyn's heart broke as he fought weakly against the paramedics, and she glared at them and said, "Mike, sweetheart, these people just want to help you. Please, we need to get you to a hospital." He shook his head and buried his face further into her chest, and she sighed and kissed the top of his head.

He felt the hands on his back, and he knew that they had returned to finish their job. He fought against them as hard as he could, and desperately clung to his partner. She would protect him. He was safe with her.

Carolyn watched as they placed a stretcher in front of her on the floor, and one of the paramedics whispered, "Just put him on it, and we'll take it from here." She looked at the paramedic, then down at her partner who was trembling in her arms. She realized that they had to get him to a hospital, but she also knew that he would panic if he was forced away from her. A cold lump of regret rose in her throat, but she knew that she had to do it.

She took it inch by inch, murmuring nonsense in his ear as she slowly laid his upper body on the stretcher. He didn't move at all until she began to move away, then he began to panic again as the paramedics lifted the stretcher up. As he struggled against them, she placed her hands on his chest and gently, but firmly, held him to the stretcher.

"Shh, Mike. Just relax. We're going to take you to the hospital. I won't let anyone else hurt you," she swore as the paramedic handed her a wool blanket to cover him with. She accepted the blanket and gently laid it over her partner's bloody and naked form, carefully tucking it around him. He had never looked so small and vulnerable as he did right then, and it tore Carolyn's heart out of her chest.

"Okay, let's get him out of here," she heard one paramedic call, and Mike suddenly opened his eyes and flung one arm out, his features overcome with fear. Carolyn immediately realized what he was doing, and she gladly grabbed his hand and clasped it in hers, massaging it gently. At the contact, he seemed to relax a little, and the paramedics quickly lifted the stretcher and carried it out of the apartment, with Carolyn running right alongside it.

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Bobby and Alex watched helplessly as Carolyn paced the worn carpet of the waiting room, occasionally looking at her watch or the clock on the wall. Finally Alex had enough, and she rose to her feet and stepped in front of Carolyn, gently grasping her forearms. "Carolyn, you need to sit down," Alex stated slowly, and Carolyn looked at the blond as though she were an alien.

"No, Alex, I need to see Mike," she growled, pulling her arms away and stalking off to continue her pacing. Alex sighed and returned to her seat beside Bobby. Bobby put his arm around her shoulders and rubbed her stomach gently.

It had been all of five hours since Carolyn had been forced to release Mike into the care and custody of the doctors and nurses, and every second more that passed only served to further her rage and worry for her wounded partner. Blood covered her clothes, and no matter how much or how hard she scrubbed her hands, she could still see his blood staining her trembling hands.

She looked down at her hands again, then shoved them into the pockets of her jeans as she continued to pace the floor.

It was well after midnight, and Alex was curled into Bobby's side, while his head rested against the wall behind them. Carolyn watched them sleep with a small twinge of envy, but she violently pushed it away and sat in one of the chairs, resting her elbows on her knees as she buried her face in her hands.

"Excuse me, are you here for Mike Logan?" a soft voice asked, and Carolyn whipped her head around and rose to her feet.

"I'm here for Mike Logan. How is he?" she demanded, and the doctor frowned and checked the file, flipping through the pages as Carolyn's frustration grew.

"Mr. Logan's injuries were numerous, but superficial for the most part. It appears as though he was tied down and beaten severely." Carolyn flinched and swallowed her nausea. "Luckily, there were no broken bones, but he did receive several bruised ribs and a moderate concussion from a nasty blow to his head." The doctor paused, and Carolyn could see the hesitation in her eyes as her lips twitched. "Due to... obvious trauma he sustained, we were required to do a rape kit."

"No," Carolyn choked, wrapping her arms around herself.

"It was positive. I'm very sorry. He was sexually assaulted, and from the evidence and exam, several times," said the doctor, and the ceiling did a slow revolution above Carolyn. Her world was cracking beneath her feet, and there was nothing she could do about it.

Finally, she licked her dry lips and said, "Can... can I see him? I need to see him."

The doctor bit her lip, then nodded slowly, motioning for Carolyn to follow her. She did.

Everything passed by Carolyn in a blur as they walked down the cold and lonely hallway, the whitewash walls making Carolyn dizzy. The doctor spoke, but Carolyn couldn't make sense of her words. She just wanted to see Mike, to touch him and try to help him put his world back together.

Finally they stopped, and the doctor put her hand on the door handle. "He's still unconscious, and probably will stay that way for the rest of the night. Once he wakes up, don't say anything that could upset him. Understand?" the doctor questioned, and Carolyn nodded robotically. She pushed the door open, and Carolyn walked in silently, her eyes scanning the room for her partner.

"Mike," was all she could force from her lips as she stood beside his bed. His face was pale, making the bruises and cuts on his face all the more evident as her gaze lingered upon his unconscious form. The white bandage that was wrapped around his temple brought tears to her eyes, but she stoically wiped them away and sat down beside his bed.

For the longest time, she just sat there in desolate silence, watching Mike's chest rise and fall with a soothing steadiness. One hand rested on her knee, while the other drifted over to gently cover his hand.

"I'm right here, Mike," she finally whispered, allowing her thumb to gently caress the back of his hand. _And I'm not going to leave you. Never again._

Her own guilt at the situation suddenly overwhelmed her, nearly crushing the breath out of her lungs. Thousands of what if's flew through her mind, and Mike's own accusing voice rang in her ears.

She took a deep breath, then leaned forward and carefully rested her head on the edge of his bed, close enough so that she could feel the heat radiating from his body, and close enough so that she could feel if he moved.

As she tried to relax and take thankfulness in the fact that Mike was alive, her unconscious began to berate her, torturing her with the fact that, if she had stayed just a little longer, he wouldn't have been hurt.

_This is all your fault_, a voice in her mind hissed. _You let this happen to him. You let him be raped. You didn't protect him. You could've prevented all of this, but you didn't. What kind of partner are you? What kind of a friend?_

She buried her face in the blanket and sobbed, her body shaking and quivering with every tearful breath she expelled. How did she let this happen? Why hadn't she protected him?

"I'm so sorry, Mike," she whispered, lifting her tearstained face to kiss his hand. "I'm so sorry. This is all my fault."

"Carolyn, this isn't your fault," a voice stated behind her, and she turned her head and tensed her body, ready to protect Mike, even if he was in no imminent danger. Alex appeared from the shadows, and Carolyn took a small breath and relaxed just a little. She rubbed her eyes and wiped the tears away, watching Alex as she walked around the bed and looked at Mike with sad eyes.

"None of this was your fault, and if you say that it is one more time, I'll be forced to use my gun on you," she joked weakly. Her hand went to gently brush against Mike's cheek, then threaded softly through his hair.

Carolyn sat back in the chair with another sigh, curling her body as she said, "Alex, please don't-"

"Don't what? Tell you that you had nothing to do with Mike being attacked? It's the truth, and you know it, Carolyn. You didn't attack him, and you didn't hire anyone to do it. You didn't stand by and let it happen, and you didn't watch it. You are not responsible for this," Alex growled, her hand stilling against Mike's forehead.

"Yeah," Carolyn said softly. "But I am responsible for him." She tucked her hand into his, and Alex was silent for the rest of her visit. She left a while later, and Carolyn pushed the chair closer to the bed, then attempted to make herself comfortable in it for the long night she knew was ahead.

TBC...

A/N: (ducks dull sporks thrown by Essy) Well, this one is going to be intense, and I hope I have ya'll hooked now. The next story I'm going to post will be lighter, so look for it if you like fluff and romantic angst! Thanks for reading, and I hope ya'll will keep reading!


	2. In A Song

Whew, this story is starting to break my heart... (sniff) But I think that I'm really growing with it, so enjoy the chapter, and please remember to review! Oh, and I hadn't intended for the SVU gang to troop in, but they demanded to be involved in catching the bad guy, and who could say no to Stabler's baby blues?

Disclaimer: None of this is mine, except for the bad guy, but really, who wants to own a bad guy? Unless it's a VDO bad guy... (drools on keyboard)

This chapter is dedicated to Infinity Star, for all her help and patience with my story ADD, constant rewriting, and everything in between. Thanks!

She groaned and shifted slightly as she woke, her back screaming and her entire body sore. She groaned again and stretched her entire body, then slowly opened her eyes, gasping at the sight that greeted her.

Mike was laying on his side with his hands tucked under his chin, his dark eyes clouded but focused intently on her, and she blushed under his stare.

She leaned forward and brushed her hand over his shoulder, murmuring, "Hey, Mike. How are you feeling?"

A confused expression came over his features as he looked around the room, and she sucked in a breath and prepared for the emotions that were about to hit them both. But they never came. Instead, Mike's gaze settled on her again, and concern filled his eyes.

"Shouldn't you be in the bed, Car?" he asked, and she froze mid-breath.

"What?"

"Your... shoulder. You were shot," he murmured, reaching out to touch her shoulder.

She covered his hand with hers, saying, "Mike, what are you talking about?"

His jaw hardened. "The Estevez case. We were in his house, and he pulled a gun on us. You were hit. I saw you."

It finally dawned on her what he was talking about. A year ago, she had been shot in the shoulder during an undercover operation. But... why was he talking about it now? That was a year ago. "Mike," she murmured. "The Estevez case was a year ago."

His eyes darkened, and his mouth fell slightly open. "What... huh?"

She thought for a moment, then carefully pushed the sleeve of her shirt off of her shoulder, revealing the healed scar that still remained. He reached one trembling hand out and touched it in disbelief.

"I┘ but-" he stuttered, and she gently clasped his hand.

The memories came back in a flood over him, so fast that he could barely sort through the emotions and sensations that they evoked. "Oh God," he whispered chokingly, and Carolyn clutched his hand tighter in hers. His breaths became harsh and labored as he remembered, and Carolyn rose to her feet beside the bed, knowing instinctively that she needed to calm him down.

"Mike. Mike," she whispered, releasing his hand to frame his face with both of her hands. "Breathe. I need you to relax, okay, sweetheart? Please, relax." His heart was racing, and the incessant beeping of the machinery alerted Carolyn to the fact that something was wrong.

She looked down at her partner, and his eyes met hers, reflecting fear and pure agony. Without even thinking, she wrapped her arms around him tightly and held him to her chest, rocking him back and forth slowly. She could feel his chest heaving almost violently, and behind her, she heard voices speaking medical jargon. Suddenly two hands grabbed her shoulders, and she nearly screamed and attempted to shove them off. But they gently pulled her away from Mike, and she felt like she was in psychical pain when Mike screamed her name.

"Carolyn!"

She wanted to go back to him. No, she wanted to take him in her arms and absorb every little bit of pain that he was being forced to suffer. She would gladly die if it meant that he didn't have to go through this.

Suddenly the machines went erratic, and Carolyn watched with a terror like she had never known as Mike's entire body fell back against the bed. One of the nurses gently pushed his head back, and the doctor carefully intubated him, sending Carolyn to her knees. Slowly the frenzy abated, and Mike's doctor crouched down in front of Carolyn.

"Is he okay?" she asked shakily, and the woman gave a small nod.

"His throat closed, probably from all of the stress and shock of the situation. Did he say anything?" Dr. McKinnis asked, and Carolyn nodded slowly.

"He woke up, and he was so sure it was a year ago," she answered slowly. "I told him that it wasn't, and I guess he remembered, because the next thing I know, he was starting to panic." A small sob escaped from her throat, and she wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. "I tried to calm him down, but then you all came in here and made me let him go." She glared at McKinnis accusingly.

McKinnis had the decency to look partly ashamed, and Carolyn rose unsteadily to her feet and moved back to Mike's bed, where the sight of the tube that snaked from his throat nearly forced her to her knees again. She fumbled for his hand, then leaned down and pressed her lips to his forehead, lingering there for a few moments while she fought to reign in her emotions.

"I administered another sedative, so he should sleep for the rest of the day, and hopefully through the night. We'll try to extubate him tomorrow afternoon," McKinnis stated, but Carolyn swallowed a cold lump of anger and just nodded. "I need to ask you more question, though. Does he have any family that we can contact? Parents, or a wife, perhaps?"

Carolyn ground her teeth, then muttered, "No, his parents are dead, and he's an only child. I'm the only family he's got."

"Alright. And your name is?"

"Barek. Carolyn Barek. And I'm also his medical proxy, in case you guys decide to do something else stupid!" she growled, her fingernails biting into her palms and her teeth sinking into her lip.

She heard the doctor leave the room, and a few minutes later, she heard someone else walk in. She had had enough.

With fury controlling her movements and thoughts, she whirled around and hissed, "Haven't you done enough?"

Alex looked at her, and Carolyn felt any and all anger flee her body as she looked at two of her closest friends. With a shaky sigh, she said, "I'm sorry, guys. I'm just..."

"It's okay, Carolyn," Alex reassured her, embracing her gently. "We know it's hard on you." Carolyn pulled away and swiped at the tears on her cheeks, then turned and sat down in her chair again.

"What happened?" Bobby finally spoke up, motioning to the tube that snaked down the side of Mike's bed. Carolyn shuddered and bit her lip.

"He... he had a p-panic attack, and his throat closed," she mumbled. "They had to intubate him." She squeezed her eyes shut, hoping that somehow, this was all just a terrible nightmare. But as hard as she tried, she just couldn't make it go away. She reached for Mike's hand, holding it tightly in hers as the tears fell down her cheeks.

Bobby and Alex looked at each other, not sure of how to comfort the crying woman in front of them. For in all reality, they had no idea of what she was going through. Sure, in their respective lives, they had each lost people who were close to them. But they still had each other, and they had never been forced to go through something like this.

Carolyn heard them leave, and in all honesty, she couldn't fault them for going. If it were anyone, anyone else lying in this bed, she would be gone, too. But this wasn't just anyone. This was her partner, her best friend. Her Mike.

She allowed her hand to travel up to his face, her fingertips just barely caressing his soft cheek. Gentle, caring, tough as nails, devoted, patient, hard headed Mike. Why did this have to happen to him? And how could she have let it? She was a cop, for God's sakes! But so was he.

_No,_ she hissed mentally as she continued to stroke his cheek. I'm not going to blame him. _I know he fought, and I know that he sure as hell didn't want this to happen._ Her gaze drifted down to the rope burns on his wrists, evidence of the fact that he had been unable to defend himself. And that angered her even more.

She pulled her hand from his cheek and clasped his hand between hers, then brought it up to her lips, kissing it tenderly. "Mike," she said, her voice thick with unshed tears. "I'm here for you, and I always will be. I know that you tried to escape those bastards, and I'm so sorry that I wasn't there to protect you."

A tear spilled from her eyelash, and she kissed his knuckles. "But I'm here now, and I will protect you, because you're not just my partner. You're my best friend, Mike Logan, and I'm going to try my hardest to keep you from being hurt again," she vowed, and another tear fell onto Mike's hand. She leaned forward and carefully rested her head on his chest, keeping her hand wrapped around his as she slowly drifted off to sleep.

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"Okay, Mike, they're going to take the tube out now," Carolyn said softly, looking into her partner's dark eyes as she squeezed his hand for reassurance. He looked uncertain, so she bent down and kissed his forehead, then ruffled his hair lightly.

McKinnis looked at Mike and said, "Okay, Mike, I'm going to need you to exhale when I pull the tube out. Understand?"

Carolyn felt Mike squeeze her hand, and she could almost hear him bite out a retort. "He's ready," she stated, and McKinnis nodded.

"Okay, on three," she said as she took the tube in her hands. "One, two, three." She pulled the tube carefully out of Mike's throat, and once it was gone, he began coughing and struggling to catch his breath.

Carolyn grabbed the glass of water on the nightstand and carefully held it to Mike's mouth, which he gratefully accepted. Once he was finished, she put the glass back, and McKinnis checked Mike's heart and lungs to make sure that nothing would go wrong. Satisfied, she looked at Carolyn and said, "He should be fine, but if anything looks strange, or he has trouble breathing-"

"I'll find a nurse," Carolyn finished her sentence, and McKinnis nodded and walked out of the room, leaving Carolyn alone with her partner. The room was quiet again, save for the sounds of their breathing, and Carolyn sank back into the chair with a weary sigh.

Mike looked at her, his dark eyes searching hers for something...

"Hey," she finally murmured, realizing that this was the first time they had talked since his attack. "It's good to see your eyes open again."

He continued to stare at her, and she blushed slightly under his gaze. "Car," he whispered hoarsely, and she leaned forward and looked at him. "Was I... did you... Did they..." His voice cut off, and it dawned on her that he was asking her details about his attack.

Her mouth suddenly felt as though it was filled with cotton, and she reached for his hand, mutely surprised when he didn't pull away from her touch. "Mike, what do you remember?" she asked thickly, and he thought for a moment, his hand reflexively squeezing hers.

"I... It was late. I had just gotten home and... someone was in the living room. I pulled my gun, but something hit me from behind." He paused and took a deep breath, silent shudders rippling through his body.

"What else do you remember?" she gently prodded, and he shut his eyes, as though to wipe away a devastating memory.

"When I came to... I was on my bed, and I couldn't move my arms or legs. Someone... someone rolled me onto my stomach..." He shut his eyes tighter, and Carolyn felt sick as the pieces came together in her mind, forming a movie that she was helpless to stop. Forgoing all rules and regulations, she found his hand and held it, and she was surprised when he grabbed it and clung to it like a lifeline.

"What happened then, Mike?" she questioned, squeezing his hand gently. He shivered a little, and Carolyn nearly choked on the air in her lungs when she saw the tear on his eyelash.

"They were laughing," he whispered, and she winced and weaved her fingers though his. "When the first one... when he was done, he asked me- he asked me if I liked it." His other hand balled into a fist, and she moved her chair closer to his bed, so that her elbows were resting on the mattress.

A coppery taste filled her mouth, and Carolyn realized belatedly that she had been biting her lip until it drew blood. She quickly wiped the unsavory taste out of her mouth. "Mike, you were on the floor of your living room when... when you were found," she stated quietly.

"I know. I remember." He opened his eyes slightly and looked at her, his hand tightening around hers. Of course he remembered. She had been the first thing he had seen when he came to. He remembered how she had spoken to him, how fiercely protective of him she had been, and still was, even now.

She looked in his eyes, desperately searching for something, some semblance of her cocky, imaginative, flirtatious, protective, loyal partner. But there was none. The man in front of her was quiet, shy, and withdrawn, and that chilled her to the core. She desperately wanted to wrap her arms around him, to hold him like she would never let go, but she settled for running her thumb over the back of his hand as he haltingly continued the horrific tale.

"They... they did that all night, knocking me out and..." His voice trailed off, and Carolyn realized with a wrench of her heart that he couldn't even say it, let alone accept what had been forced upon him. And then it finally hit her, like violent waves crashing against a sandy beach. Her partner and best friend had been_ raped_. He had been forced to endure what no person, woman _or_ man, should have to endure.

Mike noticed when his partner suddenly froze in her chair, and for a brief moment, he thought he saw disgust and loathing in her eyes. And a part of him couldn't blame her. He had been attacked, an NYPD cop, for God's sakes! He felt a wave of disgust wash over him, and he thought, _This must be how she feels whenever she looks at me._

She recognized the look in his eyes, and she could almost hear his doubts and self loathing. She needed to take action. "Mike, none of this was your fault," she murmured soothingly, and his eyes flickered through feelings, almost as though he was searching through a rolodex of emotions. "You didn't ask for any of this to happen, and I know that you fought like hell. Anyone can see that." Her gaze dropped down to his wrist, where the rope burns were a ghastly mixture of red and purple against his tan skin.

His eyes watered, and he blinked in an effort to dispel the tears.

Against her better judgment, the hand that was previously resting in her lap rose up, and the tips of her long fingers brushed against his cheek, barely making contact. But he felt it nonetheless. He felt the impulse to pull away, but he fought it, and he was disheartened when she pulled her hand away and returned it to her lap.

"Is that all, Mike?" she asked quietly, and he nodded, even though it was far from the truth. He just couldn't handle it right now. "Maybe you should get some sleep, partner. I think Alex and Bobby are going to drop by later," she said lightly, though he could hear the hesitation and worry as clear as day in her voice. He shifted until he found a comfortable position, and Carolyn rose to her feet.

"Where are you going?" Mike asked worriedly, and Carolyn's brows knitted together.

"I'm just going to get a drink, Mike," she explained, but she returned to her chair and looked at him. He felt guilty and clingy for wanting her to stay, but the truth was that he simply didn't want to be alone. She could see the fear and hesitation in his eyes, and in an attempt to assuage his fears, she said, "Don't worry, Mike. I won't leave, okay? I won't."

He relaxed, and she knew that she had said the right words as he laid his head on the pillows and yawned, his eyes drifting shut. To her quiet surprise, he opened his eyes again and smiled at her, his hand reaching out for hers. "Thanks for staying," he whispered, and she took his hand in hers and squeezed it affectionately.

True to her word, Carolyn stayed by Mike's side until he was dead to the world, her fingers rhythmically tracing the lines in his palm. After another hour, she carefully laid his hand on his stomach, then quietly slipped out of the room.

In the hall, there was a group of people talking quietly. Among them, Carolyn noticed Bobby and Alex, and her heart sank at the conflicted looks on their faces. Alex was the first to notice Carolyn's arrival, and she stepped away from the group and said, "Hey, Car. How is he?"

"Sleeping," she answered crisply, eyeing the group of strangers who surrounded Bobby.

Alex followed her stare, and she took a step closer, the somber look on her face making Carolyn's stomach drop. "They're from Special Victims," Alex stated, and Carolyn had to swallow the acidic taste of vomit that rose in the back of her throat. "They're here to talk to Mike... and you."

TBC...

A/N: Uh oh, cliffie! (ducks flaming sporks thrown by Podie1 and Essy) Review!


	3. I Hear Your Voice

Okay, this story isn't grabbing as many readers as I was hoping, so I decided to throw in a few twists and turns. This chapter also delves a little into Mike's assault, so sensitives probably should turn away. This time, I'm going to wait until I get twenty reviews before I update again, okay? So enjoy, and please remember to review!

Disclaimer: They ain't mine! Not much else to say...

**JusticeIsBlind13: Yeah, he's fine physically, but emotionally? Well, you'll just have to see...**

**Podie1: Glad you're enjoying my Mike stories. I was a bit worried about writing them, but readers like you really make it all worth it! I did toy with the idea of Cragen coming in to take Mike's statement, but this other way worked so well that I decided to go with it. And I'm definitely glad that you're willing to wait for an update, cause if I have just one fan as loyal as you, it makes all of these stories and hard work worth it. Thanks for everything!**

**Sgt. Dee: Hmm, I definitely hadn't thought about it like that, but now that you point it out, I guess I am! But it keeps the readers on their toes, huh?**

**The Confused One: You know you rock!**

This chapter is dedicated to all of the reviewers of this story: **Podie1, JusticeIsBlind13, Sgt. Dee, The Confused One, Roadrunnerger, Clue Impaired**, and **Essy**. I'd like to give an especially big thanks to **Infinity Star** once again for all of her help and patience with me when I rewrote this chapter at least five times. Thanks ya'll!

A pretty woman with dark chestnut hair and even darker eyes stepped forward and extended her hand to Carolyn, who accepted it reluctantly. "I'm Olivia Benson, and that's my partner, Elliot Stabler," she stated, motioning to the muscular man with icy blue eyes who came to stand beside her.

Carolyn nodded and glanced at Alex. "I'm Carolyn Barek, Mike's partner. I suppose you already know that I'm the one who found him?" she asked, crossing her arms over her chest and leaning back against the wall. Elliot and Olivia exchanged glances, and Olivia nodded at Carolyn.

"If it's a good time for you, we need to get your statement," Elliot said, and Carolyn spotted a row of chairs against the opposite wall. She sat down in one of the chairs, and Alex and Bobby noticed that her eyes continued to flit back and forth between them and Mike's door.

"Let's get this over with," she said, crossing her legs and twisting her hands in her lap. "I don't want him to wake up alone."

Olivia and Elliot exchanged glances again, and they sat down on either side of Carolyn. "Okay, Carolyn," Olivia started, and Elliot pulled a notepad from his back pocket. "Let's start with the night of the attack. When did you first suspect something was... out of the ordinary?"

"When he didn't show up at my apartment to pick me up for work," she answered.

"And how was that unusual?"

"We had made plans the previous day for him to pick me up that morning. When he was a half hour late, I decided to call him. He didn't answer. I had a bad feeling, so I went to his apartment." She wrung her hands in her lap. "I knocked on the door for several minutes before realizing that the door was unlocked. That's when I realized that something was very wrong." She paused.

"Then what happened?" Olivia persisted softly.

"There weren't any lights on, but I saw that the apartment was a wreck... then I saw him." A sob threatened to escape, and she shoved her fist against her mouth. After taking a moment to regroup, she started to speak again in a hushed, tearful voice. "He was lying on the floor, and there was blood... I ran over to him, checked his pulse, called 911. He drifted in and out of consciousness, and when he started to panic, I picked him up and held him. It seemed to calm him down."

"Then what?"

She was tired of the questions, tired of the SVU detectives. All she wanted to do was go back into Mike's room and be with him. But she wiped the tears away and continued to answer their questions. "The bus got there a few minutes later, and I rode with them to the hospital. That's it."

Olivia nodded understandingly, then glanced in the direction of Mike's room. "We're going to need to get his statement, and the sooner, the better," Olivia stated, rising to her feet.

To the surprise of everyone, Carolyn rose out of her seat, stood in front of the door of Mike's room, and crossed her arms over her chest. "He's sleeping, and I'm not going to let you wake him up just to upset him," she stated, her features accentuated with radiating protectiveness and just a hint of possessiveness.

Alex stepped forward and stood beside Carolyn, one hand resting unconsciously on her abdomen. "She's right, Olivia," she said softly. "Mike's asleep, and he needs some time to rest. Why don't you come back in a day or two?"

"Of course," Olivia agreed respectfully, and Elliot nodded his agreement. They said their goodbyes, then walked away from the three.

Carolyn gripped the door handle, saying, "I need to get back in there. I promised him that I wouldn't leave-"

"Car, you can't stay with him twenty four hours of the day until he's released," Alex pointed out gently, and tears welled in Carolyn's eyes.

"I know I can't," Carolyn whispered, staring at her shoes. "It's just... I wasn't there... to protect him before." She swallowed thickly. "I need to be with him now, so he knows that he's not alone. He... he shouldn't be alone, not now." She opened the door and stepped inside before her tears fell, and as the door shut, Alex turned to Bobby.

"She's blaming herself for everything," Alex said, rubbing her stomach. Bobby nodded and stepped forward, wrapping his long arms around Alex's waist.

"I don't blame her for not wanting Benson and Stabler to talk to him. Once they do..." His voice trailed off, but they both understood exactly what was implied.

Carolyn could feel the hot tears fall down her cheek as she sat by Mike's bed. He was still sleeping, but his hand twitched restlessly at his side, and his lips moved occasionally, leaving Carolyn to wonder if he was suffering from a nightmare. He suddenly cried out in his sleep, and Carolyn leaned forward and gently took his hand in hers, shushing him gently.

"It's okay, Mike," she whispered, trailing the fingertips of her free hand down his cheek. "You're safe. Nothing can hurt you now." God, she wished that she could have said that two nights ago.

His mouth pursed, and his grip on her hand tightened as his cries became more fervent. She patiently continued to talk softly to him and squeeze his hand on occasion. Finally he began to relax, and only when she was completely sure that he was sleeping peacefully again did she sit back in her chair and relax. But she didn't release his hand.

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For the tenth time in the last thirty seconds or so, Carolyn glanced at her partner, who was propped up in the bed, supported by a multitude of pillows. To anyone else who might walk into the room, he was, for all appearances, sleeping. But Carolyn knew her partner better than that. She could almost feel the anger radiating from his body, and it didn't help with her guilt.

"Mike, you need to eat," she stated quietly, but firmly.

"Yeah, I'd like to see you eat this slop," he growled, crossing his arms over his chest like a petulant child. She sighed and leaned forward in the chair.

"Please, Mike."

He suddenly swung his long, lanky legs over the side of the bed, wincing as he pushed himself out of the bed and landed feet first on the cold floor.

Carolyn was on her feet in an instant. "Where the hell do you think you're going?" she demanded, grabbing his shoulders carefully. He pulled away from her and took a step forward, nearly gasping out loud as he did so. She knew that whatever he was thinking wasn't good, so she stood in front of him and put her hands on his waist. "Get your ass back over there, Logan," she hissed, and he sneered at her.

"What're you going to do, _Barek_?" he mocked her, and her fingers curled tightly around his waist. "I'm nearly twice your size. Get offa me." To his surprise, she pushed her body against his, effectively pushing him back onto the bed.

"You're not going anywhere, you got that?" she snarled, grabbing his shoulders and looking him dead in the eye. She was nearly floored when he flinched and recoiled from her, as though he honestly believed that she was capable of striking him.

Her hands fell to her side, and he collapsed against the pillows, turning his back on her. She stepped backwards, falling into her own chair.

"Oh God, Mike," she whispered, staring at her hands in disbelief. "I'm so, so sorry. Oh God..." She looked up, and tears fell from her eyes when she saw him shiver. "I could never hurt you, Mike. Please, I'm sorry." He actually thought that she was going to hurt him... She would never do that. But after the hell that he had been through, she couldn't fault him for believing that anybody was capable of anything.

Suddenly she rose to her feet and darted out of the room, leaving Mike alone and feeling terribly exposed and vulnerable.

In the hall, Carolyn ran into the ladies room, wanting nothing more than to find a hole to crawl into and disappear. She locked herself in the stall in the corner, sat down on the cold floor, and buried her face in her hands and cried gut wrenching sobs.

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"How is he?" Carolyn asked Alex softly as she walked up to the door of Mike's hospital room.

Alex looked at the door, then back at Carolyn. "Not good," she answered truthfully, and Carolyn's heart sank. "He wants you in there with him, Car," she stated, shoving her hands into the pockets of her jeans. "He won't talk to anyone, and when he did sleep, I could hear him call your name."

"You weren't in there," Carolyn whispered, staring down at her hands. "You didn't see the look on his face when I..." She couldn't finish, but Alex understood completely what Carolyn was attempting to say.

"You still should go in there now. Benson and Stabler are going to be here in an hour-"

"What?" Carolyn nearly growled, her fingernails digging into her palms.

"He wants to get it over with. Honestly, I think it might be too soon. But if you're in there..." The implication sat heavily on Carolyn's heart.

She took a deep breath, then walked over and put her hand on the door handle. But before she turned it, she looked at Alex and asked, "Are you sure he wants me in there?"

Alex nodded firmly, and Carolyn closed her eyes, then walked into the room.

Mike was flipping aimlessly through the T.V. channels when Carolyn walked in, and she didn't miss how his tired eyes lit up upon seeing her. "Hey," she said quietly, stopping a few feet from the bed.

"Hey."

"H- how are you feeling?" she asked softly.

He wanted to snap at her, to cause her as much hurt as he had felt when she had disappeared, but he couldn't. He sighed tiredly and said, "I'm... tired." She seemed to tense at his admission, but he was too tired to argue, criticize, or play mind games. All he wanted was his best friend to tell him that everything would be fine, even if he knew that they wouldn't.

She cleared her throat uneasily, and he looked at her and reached one hand out, a simplistic gesture that he hoped she understood. For several long moments, she simply stared at his hand, uncertain of what to do. He was about to withdraw his hand when she took a step, then another, until she had arrived by his bed, putting only a few inches of distance between them.

They continued to stare at each other until she whispered his name in a shaky, guilt ridden whisper that he barely recognized as belonging to his partner. "Mike." She took another tearful breath. "I'm so sorry." As soon as the words passed her lips, he reached out and wrapped his arms around her waist, ignoring the flair of pain in his backside and wrists that accompanied his actions.  
She was stunned by his sudden display of affection, but her arms quickly went around him, her right hand gently pulling his head down to rest against her breast. They stayed in that position for several minutes, until Carolyn carefully shifted them both back onto the bed, allowing Mike to rest against her.

"Don't ever leave like that again," he whispered pleadingly against her shirt, and she blinked back a tear as she rested her chin on the top of his head.

"I won't, Mike," she assured him, her left hand gently running through his hair. The bandage had been removed, and she stiffened against a shudder that threaten to shake her as her fingers brushed against the healing wound.

Neither of them heard the door slowly open, and Mike jumped violently in Carolyn's arms when Olivia cleared her throat.

"Mike, Mike," Carolyn soothed, brushing her fingers along the back of his neck as he shivered against her. "It's okay. That's just Olivia. She's one of the SVU detectives that need to talk to you." She slowly eased away from Mike, but grasped his hand in hers once she settled into the chair again. Once she was certain that Mike was calm (or as calm as he could be, given the circumstances) she ushered Olivia and Elliot over, and they took the empty chairs on the opposite side of Mike's bed.

From her stint with the FBI, Carolyn had picked up the necessary tool of being able to read people, and Elliot Stabler and Olivia Benson were no exception to that. He appeared awkward, uncomfortable, as though he wasn't sure of what to make of the entire situation. He came across to Carolyn as the kind of man who, even in his line of work, still believed that men couldn't be raped, especially Major Case Squad detectives. He had a smug persona about him, though he was attempting to hide it.

She turned her eyes on Olivia. She seemed like a good woman, and Carolyn could see that she genuinely wanted to help Mike. Olivia looked up at Carolyn and nodded, then she smiled warmly at Mike, who didn't seem to notice.

"Hi, Detective Logan-"

"Mike," he corrected dully, and Olivia nodded amiably.

"Mike, we need to talk to you about what happened to you. Are you up for that?" she asked, and Carolyn felt more at ease by the female detective's warm and encouraging demeanor.

Not caring who was in the room, Mike moved closer to his partner, then sat up straighter in the bed, his eyes avoiding Olivia's. "Let's get this over with," he muttered, and Elliot nodded as he turned the tape recorder on.

"Okay, Mike, can you tell us what happened when you got home that night?"

"I walked into my apartment after work. When I walked in, someone was in the apartment, and I grabbed my gun. But something hit me from behind, and it knocked me out," he stated almost robotically, and Carolyn swallowed a thick lump in her throat at the thought of the descriptions to come. "When I woke up, I was lying in my bed, on my back, and my wrists and ankles were bound." He took a deep breath, and she squeezed his hand gently in an effort to help him remain calm. "Someone rolled me onto my stomach and... I could feel..." He shuddered and gripped Carolyn's hand tightly.

"Mike, what happened next?" Elliot pressed. "We need details so we can catch this guy."

"The first one grabbed me and... he uh-"

"He what?" Elliot questioned, his voice taking on a harsh edge. Olivia was shocked at her partner's unusually cruel demeanor, while Carolyn was contemplating how much time it would take for her to walk around the bed and knock a few of Elliot's teeth out of his head. But Mike started to shake beside her, so she decided to stay put for right then.

"He raped me, all right?" Mike shouted, his free hand balling into a fist at his side. The outburst startled Elliot and Olivia, while Carolyn's fury only grew, searching for a release. "And then when he was done, he asked me if I liked it! Is that enough detail for you? Or do you want me to describe exactly how it felt as they all raped me with their fingers, and whatever else was handy?"

Carolyn paled as Mike fell back against the pillows, his entire body shaking with suppressed fury. She reached over and laid her palm against his heaving chest, then turned her head in the shocked SVU detective's directions, her eyes aflame and fury dripping from her hardened voice.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" she hissed at Stabler, as though Mike weren't in the room. "He doesn't need this!"

"We need specific details," Stabler explained, somewhat offended.

Carolyn continued to glare at him, until Olivia touched her partner's shoulder and said, "El, maybe you should let me handle this one, huh?"

Elliot huffed and rose to his feet, then lumbered out of the room. Once he was gone, Olivia moved her chair closer to Mike's bed and did something that Carolyn was completely surprised by: she apologized.

"I'm sorry about my partner's behavior," Olivia sighed, running her hand through her hair. "He's... well..."

"A chauvinistic pig?" Carolyn volunteered, and Olivia let out a light laugh.

"Yeah, you could definitely say that. He just thinks that men can't be caught off guard like women, especially men who are cops. He can be a real jerk when he wants to, but he's a good guy deep down." Olivia retrieved her own field notebook, then said, "Are you feeling up to continuing, Mike? We don't need to finish today if you're not ready."

Carolyn leaned forward with her elbows on the bed, her hand still clasping Mike's. "What do you want to do, Mike?" she asked gently, and he sighed and rubbed his face with his free hand.

When he spoke, his voice was so soft that the women had to lean forward to hear him. "Let's get this over with."

Olivia smiled patiently and turned the recorder on, and they began the long and arduous task of delving into the horrific and twisted details of Mike's assault.

TBC...

A/N: Hehehe, I know. I'm being so evil. I'm having a lot of fun writing this, and don't worry if some of ya'll are thinking that Mike's not getting enough screen time. He hasn't even begun to deal with everything, so that's coming up, along with a breakdown and a few chapters down the road, a birth! So review, please, and I'll see ya'll on the next update!


	4. Only The Wind

Okay, ya'll hit the twenty review mark, so here's the update! Now let's get it to thirty five, and I'll post the next chapter!

Disclaimer: They ain't mine... dern it...

**Podie1**: Yeah, Elliot was a bit of a jerk. I didn't intend for him to be that rough, but it just came out that way, and it worked really well. Thanks for all of the wonderful reviews!

**KM:** I'm glad you finally pulled over and read this, and I'm glad you like Olivia so far. Not many people are too thrilled with Elliot...

**Penn O'Hara**: What can I say? It makes me feel very good about my writing when a great author such as yourself takes the time not only to read my story, but to review it. Thank you so much!

**Clue Impaired**: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know I'm evil. You know it, I know it, and the monkeys know it! I've enjoyed writing Carolyn as being so protective of Mike, even if the circumstances are less than desirable.

**Charlieboy:** Wow, three reviews one right after another! Thanks!

**onlyshadows:** I'm glad someone else knows about the trauma. Yes, it's briefly mentioned in this chapter, but will be explored further later.

**Hope06:** Thanks for all the encouragement! Yes, I did laugh too at Carolyn's comment. It was too good not to write!

**LoganBarekfan**: Glad you're enjoying the story!

**RoadrunnerGER:** Thanks for the review and everything else! Areeba!

**The Confused One:** Yes, he is evil. Glad you're enjoying this, muse bunny!

**JusticeIsBlind13:** You and me both are glad that Caro's there. No, the pain won't go away, but I think that with her, some of it will be eased. She's going to take good care of her Mike.

And now, as Paul Harvey says, "The rest of the story..."

The light from the T.V. bathed the room in an eerie glow, and Carolyn yawned as she looked at her sleeping partner. As she recalled the events of the afternoon, she winced and allowed her fingers to gently curl around his arm, and he unconsciously turned towards her in his restless sleep.

Leaning over until her elbows were resting on the mattress, Carolyn ran her fingertips along Mike's forehead, then protectively draped her arm over his waist. A small cry passed his lips, and she knew that a nightmare was haunting him when he began to thrash and cry out against the shadows in his subconscious.

"Mike, it's alright," she whispered, daring to brush her lips against his forehead. "You're safe. No one can hurt you here." Unlike the previous nights, he didn't calm, and she watched in anxious fear as his cries became more fervent, more pained somehow.

Suddenly his eyes flashed open, and the most piercing, heartbreaking wail Carolyn had ever heard reached her ears. Reacting by some internal instinct, she stood up and gathered him into her arms, holding him tightly against her as she climbed up onto the bed beside him. Once she was securely on the bed, she pulled him into her lap, rocking him back and forth as he buried his face in her shoulder and wept body shaking sobs that frightened Carolyn in their severity.

She leaned back against the pillows, pulling Mike along with her so that she was still cradling him carefully. He continued to sob, the sounds muffled by the material of her shirt.

"I've got you, Mike," she murmured over and over again, running one hand over his back. "I've got you." His tears didn't abate, and after some ten or fifteen minutes, Carolyn finally did the only thing she knew to. Clearing her throat, she kissed the top of his head, then began to sing softly.

_I remember as a child _

_On a dark and stormy night _

_I heard the screen door slam _

_And I was overcome with fright _

_So afraid that something bad _

_Was trying to get in _

_Then Mama came to comfort me _

_And said_

_It's only the wind, and nothing more _

_Not the end of the world knocking at the door _

_So close your eyes and dream again _

_Believe me, it's only the wind_

She noticed that his sobs had begun to lessen, and she reached down and pulled the blankets over her partner, tucking them gently around him. She took a soft breath, then continued to sing softly into Mike's ear as she slowly rocked him back and forth.

_Every time I've had to face _

_A bitter storm of life _

_Those words of comfort _

_Were my shelter in the night _

_But tonight I don't believe _

_I'm able to pretend _

_The storm that you and I are up against _

_Is only the wind_

His head relaxed against her shoulder, and even though everything she had learned about dealing with victims of sexual assault screamed that it was wrong, she pulled him further into her lap and closed her eyes, humming softly as his chest finally began to rise and fall without the strain of repressed sobs.

_I can feel you in my arms _

_And you're just about to sleep _

_There's nothing anyone can do _

_To take you away from me, no _

_Now our world is changing _

_And I'm frightened once again _

_What I wouldn't give if I could be convinced _

_It's only the wind_

_And nothing more _

_Not the end of the world walking out the door _

_I wish that I could dream again _

_Believing it's only the wind_

_Oh, and nothing more _

_Not the end of my world walking out the door _

_I wish that I could dream again _

_Believing it's only the wind_

She continued to hum the melody softly against his skin, sighing in relief as he snuggled deeper into the safety and protection of her embrace.

A few minutes later, she attempted to climb out of the bed, but the choked protest that arose from her partner's throat made her freeze and return to her previous position. She eventually gave in to the inevitable and began stroking his hair as she watched the first rays of the morning sun bleed through the curtains.

At least one of them would be getting some sleep.

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"Word on the street is that a certain infamous detective is making a break from the hospital," a soft voice joked from the door, and Mike looked up to see his partner standing there, a gentle smile on her face and a duffle bag slung over her shoulder. "I'm here to see if the rumors are true."

He shrugged one shoulder, and her smile faded as she approached the bed, laying the duffle bag beside him. "Brought you some clothes," she stated, retrieving a pair of jeans, socks, sneakers, and what she knew was his favorite t-shirt. She laid them on the bed, watching her partner closely as he rose to his feet, gathered up the clothes, and shuffled into the bathroom.

Fifteen minutes later, Mike was still in the bathroom, and Carolyn was becoming worried. "Mike, are you alright?" she called, knocking lightly on the door. He didn't answer. She was contemplating breaking the door down when it finally opened, and she breathed a relieved sigh when he appeared in front of her.

"Ready to go?" she asked, and he looked at her.

"Where?" he asked numbly, and she grimaced.

"I was... I wanted you to come stay with me, at least until they've cleaned up your apartment," she explained quickly, specifically avoiding the long and drawn out battle she had fought to be able to take him home with her. Even after stating in no uncertain terms that the hospital would be releasing him into her care, she still received arguments that it wasn't the right thing to do, that she wasn't "equipped" to "handle" the situation.

But she was grateful that she had two very strong allies: Alex Eames and Bobby Goren. Two partners who had somehow managed to break every NYPD regulation and rule about everything from crime scenes to partner fraternization in the span of seven years. They had helped her in every way imaginable, including pointing out several very good reasons in favor of Mike staying with Carolyn. And she was thankful to have their help.

Now that the dust had settled, she could see a very large mountain in front of them, one that she knew wouldn't be easy to climb. She looked at her partner, and suddenly she saw him in a very different light. His clothes were more loose than they should have been (or was she just imagining it?), and the fading bruises that marred his skin were still all too evident. She bit her lip and forced a smile to her face, saying, "Ready to go, partner?"

He shrugged again, and she picked up the duffle bag, slinging it over her shoulder as she walked out of the hospital room. Once they reached the front doors, she was quietly thankful that Bobby had created a diversion by telling overeager reporters that Mike wouldn't be released for another three days. So when they walked through the doors, the only people around were visitors of the hospital and teenage kids loitering on the sidewalk.

They quickly found her car, and she waited until he was situated in the passenger's seat before climbing in and starting the car, maneuvering the car out of the parking lot with ease.

After five minutes of utter silence, Carolyn finally spoke, and the sudden sound of her voice made Mike jump and smack his head against the roof of the car. "Are you okay?" she demanded, pulling the car off of the road. As soon as they were stopped, she reached over and pressed her hand against the wound, relieved when she found no blood. Their eyes met, and they stared at each other for several seconds before Carolyn cleared her throat and started the car again.

The rest of the ride was silent, and Carolyn was relieved when they finally arrived at her apartment building. She grabbed his duffle bag again and held it tightly as she climbed out of the car and waited patiently for him to exit, too. Then they headed slowly into the apartment building, her steps deliberately slowed to keep in time with his.

She grimaced as she fumbled with the key to her apartment, wondering if it was still the wreck she'd left a week ago. She hadn't been home since Mike's attack; Alex had graciously volunteered to make trips to her apartment for fresh clothing and other necessities. She finally managed to unlock the door, hoping that the apartment wouldn't look too much like a bomb had been set off inside. As she flipped the lights on, she was delightedly surprised when a spotless apartment greeted her, and she made a mental note to thank Alex with a large bag of skittles and a nice dinner.

Mike lingered in the door while Carolyn set his bag on the couch, then walked into the kitchen and looked in the fridge, where fresh groceries greeted her. She smiled again and shut the door, then looked at Mike, who was still standing uncertainly at the door. Pushing her hair from her face, Carolyn asked, "Are you tired, Mike?"

He gave a small nod, and she walked over and pushed a door open, peeking inside to make sure that everything was in order. When she was satisfied, she said, "If you want to get some sleep, this bedroom's for you, okay?"

He gave no indication that he heard her, but a few seconds later, he walked into the bedroom, slamming the door behind himself. Carolyn stared at the door, tears welling in her eyes as she shook her head sadly.

He slammed the door shut, then locked it before he turned and viewed the room that was now his. It was fairly roomy, with soft carpet and a king sized bed in the middle of the room. Off to the left, an open door revealed a bathroom, and he could see a dresser and a nightstand. He walked around the room before coming to a stop in front of the bathroom, and he hesitantly walked inside. And for the first time in his adult life, he locked the door behind himself.

Once he was finished, he flushed the toilet, then cautiously approached the mirror, his heart pounding as he finally took in his reflection. He couldn't believe what he saw in the reflective glass. The man in front of him was pale, with dark circles under his eyes and fading bruises on his face and wrists. He stared into his own eyes, now dull and lifeless, and he nearly choked on the air in his lungs.

Suddenly it was too much. The man in the mirror and who he was couldn't be the same person. Before he could stop himself, his fist shot out, shattering the mirror into thousands of tiny, glittering shards of reflective glass. They covered the sink and the floor, and he could hear his own heart pounding against his ribcage as he stared down at his bloody knuckles.

His legs buckled, and he fell back against the wall, sliding down until he hit the floor. He heard Carolyn bang on his bedroom door, then the sound of wood splintering.

"Mike? What was that? Are you okay?" he heard her demand from the other side of the door, and he simply didn't have the strength to answer her. A few seconds later, the bathroom door slammed off of it's hinges, and Carolyn fell to her knees in front of Mike, her eyes full of worry and her chest heaving.

Her eyes automatically scanned over him, and when she was certain that he had no life threatening injuries, she exhaled deeply and turned around, reaching under the sink to produce a wash cloth. Then she turned on the faucet and held the cloth under, dampening it slightly. Once it was sufficiently moistened, she turned the water off, then moved over to sit between Mike and the toilet.

Watching her partner's expression out of the corner of her eye, she silently and gently picked up his right hand, placing it in her lap as she slowly and tenderly wiped away the blood and glass. "What were you thinking, Mike?" she asked softly after several minutes of silence, but he didn't answer. She sighed and finished his right hand, then reached over and took his left, cleaning it just as gently and thoroughly as the other.

Once his hands were taken care of, Carolyn rose shakily to her feet, then slowly began to pick up the shattered pieces of glass that covered the countertop of the sink. She became so lost in the task that when Mike spoke softly, she jumped a little.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, and she dumped the glass into the trashcan, then crouched down in front of Mike, her hands resting on her knees.

"Mike, you have... nothing to be sorry for. You've gone through hell this past week..." Her voice trailed off, and he looked up at her, his dark eyes misty with unshed tears. "Come on," she murmured, extending her hand to him. He stared at it for a long moment before finally reaching out to her, and she gently held it and helped him to his feet. "Do you still want to sleep?"

He nodded slowly, and she watched him like a hawk as they slowly stepped into the bedroom. She waited patiently for him to climb into the bed, and once he was situated, she pulled the blanket over him, then reached into her pocket for a prescription bottle. She shook out two pills, then handed them to her partner, who swallowed them dry, then rolled over onto his side, his back facing her again.

He was silent, so she reached over and brushed her hand over his shoulder, then walked back into the living room, clumsily pulling the busted door as far closed as it would go.

The clock read one p.m., and by the time she had checked though the groceries, made sure that Mike's medications were in order, cleaned the splintered wood off of the floor, started dinner, and completed other miscellaneous tasks, it was nearly five thirty. She wiped the back of her hand against her forehead, then poked her head into Mike's bedroom.

He seemed to be sleeping soundly, the only sign of life coming from the steady rise and fall of his broad chest. She edged away from the room silently and wandered back into the kitchen to check the water that was boiling, and she dumped a box of spaghetti noodles into it.

She was nearly finished with the dinner and contemplating taking a shower when the silence of the apartment was shattered by a gut churning howl, and Carolyn dropped everything and ran into the spare bedroom from where the screams were originating.

He was tangled in the covers, his arms and legs thrashing wildly as he attempted to fight off whatever was attacking his subconscious. She immediately ran to his side and gently began untangling the covers from his body, murmuring softly as she did. "Mike, Mike, Mike," she cooed, finally pulling the last of the blankets away from his flailing limbs.

He continued to struggle and cry out, so she paused for only a moment before wrapping her arms around his back and pulling him tightly against her chest, her body absorbing the blows from his. Keeping one arm snugly around him, she reached over and propped several pillows up against the headboard, then awkwardly pulled herself up onto the bed, pulling him along as she sank down into the pillows. He continued to whimper in his sleep, and she slowly rubbed circles over his back as she held him.

His doctors had warned her that he would suffer from nightmares, and that they would become frightening, but the best thing that she could do would be to hold him and just talk to him. So she pulled his head down to rest against her breast, her fingers slowly threading through his damp hair. She knew that his nightmares were most likely not limited to the attack when he began to beg his mom to stop, and images of a young Mike being violated by someone who was supposed to help and protect him...

She shuddered and held him closer, as though by comforting him now, she could somehow help the little boy inside of him, to protect him when no one else could, or would.

He seemed to be calming down, his body occasionally jerking from the remnants of the nightmares that pursued him ruthlessly. Her entire body ached as she held him close to her, and she pushed back her instincts when he buried his face in the valley between her breasts. Instead she closed her eyes and reveled in the fact that he was safely cradled in her arms, away from any harm that could be inflicted upon him.

He finally gave up his fight and relaxed against her, his entire body trembling and covered in a thin layer of sweat. Smoothing her hand over his forehead, she whispered, "Mike?"

He slowly opened one eye and looked at her groggily, then turned his head so that his cheek rested against her breast.

She was about to ask him what his nightmare had been about when a loud knock announced someone's arrival, and she gently eased herself from under her partner. "I'll be right back," she whispered reassuringly, giving his cheek a final caress before she padded out of the room.

The knocks grew more persistent, and Carolyn rubbed her eyes before unlocking the deadbolts and opening the door. "Hello?" she asked, and the older of the four men standing there stepped forward and extended his hand to her.

"Hello, Detective Barek. I'm Captain Don Cragen of Manhattan's Special Victims Unit, and this is Detectives Fin Tutuola, John Munch, and Chester Lake," Cragen stated, shaking Carolyn's hand. She shook his hand reluctantly and didn't fully open the door.

"I'm sorry, but your detectives already spoke with my partner," she said, her voice a little harsher than she intended. Cragen was not put off.

"I know that, ma'am. We're here to see Mike because we're old friends, and we'd like to see how he's doing," Cragen explained patiently, and Carolyn's fist balled at her side.

"Well, just stay right here, and I'll go and see if he's up to seeing people," she stated firmly, making it perfectly clear that if he wasn't, they were going to leave. Cragen nodded, and she shut the door and walked back into the bedroom, brushing her fingertips over Mike's forehead.

"Mike?" she murmured, waiting patiently for him to open his eyes. "Mike, are you feeling up for some visitors?"

His eyes widened slightly, and he croaked out, "Who?"

"Don Cragen, Fin Tutuola, and John Munch. They say they know you." She sat down and rested her hand on his chest protectively. "I'll tell them to leave if you're not up for it."

Surprise lit up his eyes, and he struggled to sit up. "No, let them in," he muttered, allowing her to help him to his feet. "I used to work with Cragen, and I know Munch and Fin." He limped into the living room, and she sighed and grabbed several pillows and a blanket. In the living room, she quickly piled the pillows into his favorite spot on the couch, despite his protests, and she motioned for him to sit down. Once she was certain that he was comfortable, she walked back to the door and cracked it open.

"One at a time," she ordered, allowing Cragen to walk inside. At the sight of his old friend, a smile appeared on Mike's face.

"Hey, Donny," he teased, and both Carolyn and Cragen were relieved to see this side of Mike reappear. Don took a seat in the recliner close to Mike, and Carolyn motioned for another man to walk in. Fin Tutuola appeared, and Mike's smile grew fractionally bigger.

"Hey, Mikey," Fin greeted him enthusiastically, and Mike nodded at him.

"Knock it off, Odafin, or I'll sic my partner on you," he joked weakly as Fin sat on the ottoman in front of Mike and Cragen.

"Is my partner harassing you?" Munch asked as Carolyn ushered him into the apartment, and Fin glared at him.

Mike shifted slightly on the pillows, an uncomfortable look on his face, and Carolyn watched him closely as the other men laughed and reminisced.

"So, what've you been up to lately, Mike?" Cragen asked, carefully avoiding the subject of Mike's attack. Mike shrugged.

"He's just thankful to be off of that hell hole called Staten Island, right, Logan?" Fin joked, and Mike smiled again.

Realizing that her partner was in good company, Carolyn relaxed and motioned for the last detective to join all of them. As he walked into the apartment, Cragen motioned to him and said to Mike, "Mike, this is Chester Lake, the fresh meat at SVU."

His words fell on deaf ears as Mike felt his heart begin to race and his hands begin to shake at the sight of the new intruder.

Carolyn was the first to realize that something was wrong, and she sat down beside her partner. "What's wrong, Mike?" she whispered into his ear as she gently rubbed his neck with the palm of her hand. She could hear the sound of his breathing amplify, and he suddenly twisted and buried himself in her arms. "Mike? What's wrong? What is it?" she demanded, and a sob coursed through his shaking frame.

Cragen, Munch and Fin watched the scene in horror and worry, while Carolyn attempted desperately to calm her upset partner.

"Make him go away," he gasped against her chest, and she looked up at Lake with a newfound sense of understanding.

"Get out of here!" she hissed at the confused detective. Cragen and the others quickly caught on, and they ushered Lake out of the apartment, while Carolyn held Mike. "Mike. My Mike," she whispered to him, rubbing his back gently. He choked on a sob and moved his head to the crook of her neck, his arms uncertainly wrapping around her waist. She heard the door shut, and when she looked up, they were alone in the apartment.

After a while of holding him like that, she realized that he was probably hungry, so she gently eased out of his grasp, soothing his anxieties by murmuring, "It's okay, my Mike. I'm just going into the kitchen," she soothed, stroking his cheek. "I'll be right there, and you can see me, okay?" She waited until he nodded, then moved off of the couch and walked into the kitchen.

The spaghetti was cold, so she scooped some into two bowls, then reheated them in the microwave. Once they were finished, she grabbed two forks and two bottles of water, then walked back into the living room and sat down beside Mike.

"Here, Mike," she murmured, handing him a bowl of spaghetti. He took it reluctantly, and she watched out of the corner of her eye as he took small bites.

A half hour later, the food was gone, and Carolyn reached over and picked up the remote for the T.V. "How about some T.V.?" she suggested cheerfully, and he shrugged, then surprised her by laying his head in her lap. Touched by his complete and whole hearted trust in her, she tenderly stroked his hair and forehead. Nothing was on, so when she settled on a country music channel, Mike was slightly surprised.

She saw his expression and let out a soft laugh, threading her fingers through his hair as she explained, "Yes, my dirty little secret. I like country music."

They watched the videos for a while, until Carolyn realized that he had fallen asleep in her lap. She smiled and continued to stroke his hair as she watched the new video by Carrie Underwood, and she was pleasantly surprised when she realized that it was a remake of one of her favorite songs. She sang along softly with the young woman on the T.V., all the while allowing her fingers to stroke the back of his neck.

_Oh, why you look so sad? _

_Tears are in your eyes _

_Come on and talk to me now _

_Don't be ashamed to cry _

_Let me see you through _

_Cause I've seen the dark side too _

_When the night falls on you _

_You don't know what to do _

_Nothing you confess _

_Can make me love you less_

_I'll stand by you, I'll stand by you _

_I won't let nobody hurt you _

_I'll stand by you_

_So, if you're mad get mad, don't hold it all inside _

_Come on and talk to me now _

_And hey, what you got to hide? I get angry too _

_Well I'm a lot like you _

_When you're standing at the crossroads _

_Don't know which path to choose _

_Let me come along _

_Cause even if your wrong_

_I'll stand by you, I'll stand by you _

_I won't let nobody hurt you _

_I'll stand by you _

_Take me in into your darkest hour _

_And I'll never desert you _

_I'll stand by you_

_And when, when the night falls on you baby _

_You're feeling all alone _

_You won't be on your own_

_I'll stand by you, I'll stand by you _

_Won't let nobody hurt you _

_I'll stand by you _

_Take me in into your darkest hour _

_And I'll never desert you _

_I'll stand by you _

_Oooh, I'll stand by you_

_I'll stand by you_

Mike could hear her sing, and he didn't move for fear of making her stop. He remained silent in her lap, his eyes closed and the pain he had felt slowly beginning to heal a little. The song came to an end, and he sighed when she stopped singing. She slowly slid out from under him, and he kept his eyes shut as she draped a blanket over him, then leaned down and kissed his cheek.

"Night, my Mike," she whispered against his skin, and he wanted to open his eyes, but he kept them shut. He heard her sigh and disappear into her bedroom, and he swallowed thickly and rolled over onto his side, facing the couch.

He wondered why she was even doing all of this. Sure, they had been dating for a few weeks, but it wasn't like they were married. Wasn't she disgusted by him, like he was? Or was she doing this out of pity? He hated either thought, and a tear rolled down his cheek. He had been violated in the worst possible way, and she had been there through everything, helping him and offering comfort. Something that he couldn't accept.

He laid there like that for what seemed like an eternity, until a quiet sob drew him out of his self loathing and destruction. He lifted his head, and another sob reached his ears. Carolyn?

With a grunt, he pushed himself off of the couch, then quietly approached her room. He could see her lying on her stomach, her body shaking with sobs, and his own heart broke. Ignoring the still lingering pain in his backside, he padded across the floor, then lifted himself up onto the bed, curling into her side. He felt her stiffen, but a split second later, her arms were wrapped tightly around him and her forehead was pressed against his.

"I'm sorry for waking you up," she whispered, wiping her tears away. He shook his head and snuggled closer against her as their tears fell together and their pain mingled.

She was surprised when he gently rolled her over and pressed his front to her back, holding her in a way that she was terrified he would never hold her again. His arms slipped shyly around her waist, and she covered his hands with hers, whispering, "Mike, we don't have to do this. You just got home..."

He shook his head and laid his head on the pillow, saying, "I just... I need to hold you. I need to make sure that you're still here." His confession brought tears to her eyes, and she squeezed his hand tightly, lacing her fingers through his.

"I'm here," she whispered reassuringly, and he tightened his arms around her a little. The rain pattered softly against the window, but neither of them heard it as they held each other.

TBC...

A/N: M'kay, the first song I used on there was Billy Dean's song Only The Wind, a song that my dad used to sing to me when I was a baby. The second one used was Carrie Underwood's version of the Pretender's song I'll Stand By You, another beautiful song. Now remember, this time I want to hit the thirty five review mark, so please review!


	5. Bullets And Bad Dreams

Hola, everybody! I'm back again with an update for this ever evolving story, so enjoy, and please remember to review.

Disclaimer: They ain't mine... I'm getting a fifth opinion...

This chapter is dedicated to Paige, for sticking by me through all of the ups and downs of this story.

"Mike, I know it doesn't seem like it, but it's getting better," Carolyn tried to reassure him as they walked into her apartment. He shook his head and disappeared into his bedroom, and Carolyn walked into the kitchen to fix them something for dinner.

Two weeks had passed since she had brought him home, and the SVU detectives were no closer to catching the bastards who had hurt her partner, her Mike. In two more weeks, her compassionate leave she had taken would be over, and she would have to return to work. The thought of having to leave Mike alone in her apartment made nausea rise in her stomach. He still couldn't even sleep through the night without nightmares. How could she expect him to stay there all day, by himself, until she came home?

Suddenly she felt an overwhelming urge to go check on him, so she dropped the pot she was holding and walked over to his door. "Mike?" she called, knocking on the door softly. He didn't answer, and when she tried to open the door, she realized that it was locked. She knocked again, but there was still no reply. "Mike!"

"Go away, Carolyn," she heard him say quietly, and something inside her told her that something was very wrong.

"Mike, open this door," she called out, but she received no answer. A sickening realization hit her, and she darted into her room and flung the closet door open, searching for her steel box that she kept her service revolver in. She found it and quickly unlocked it, her stomach sinking when she saw that it was empty. Dropping it, she ran back to Mike's bedroom door, pounding her fist against it as she screamed, "Mike, open this door right now!"

No sound came from the other side of the door, and Carolyn frantically racked her brain for an idea. Finally she grabbed her phone and dialed a familiar number. Once she was finished, she hung up the phone, then fell back against the door, tears falling from her eyes as she slid down to the floor.

Twenty minutes later, there was a loud knock at her door, and Carolyn quickly stood up and opened it, ushering him in. "Thank God you're here," she muttered, shutting the door behind him.

Bobby looked at the bedroom door, then at Carolyn, and she whispered, "He's in there with my service revolver, and he won't talk to me. You've got to get him out of there, Bobby."

He nodded and shed his jacket, then walked over to stand in front of Mike's bedroom door. "Mike," he started, rolling up the sleeves of his shirt. "It's Bobby. What's going on, man?"

There was silence for a few moments, then Mike said, "Go away, Goren."

"Sorry Mike, I can't do that," Bobby said. There was no answer, and Bobby whispered to Carolyn, "Is there a key for this lock?" She shook her head. "Okay, get me a screwdriver." She nodded and quickly retrieved the screwdriver, then handed it to Bobby, who quickly began working on unlocking the door. Finally the lock clicked, and Bobby nodded at Carolyn before slowly easing into the bedroom.

Bobby looked around the bedroom and quickly spotted Mike, who was sitting on the bed with his back to the door. Clearing his throat softly, Bobby said, "What's going on, Mike?"

"Get out of here, Goren. This doesn't concern you."

"Well, that's where you're wrong, Mike. If you're in here thinking about killing yourself, I'm definitely going to be worried. And you have no idea how upset and worried your partner is."

That struck a chord in Mike, but he didn't show it. "She'd be better off without me. I'm just a burden on her, and everyone else."

His comment angered Bobby. "Logan, you know that's just a damn lie. No one sees you as a burden, and Carolyn sure as hell wouldn't be 'better off' if you shoot yourself. Why would you even think that?" he demanded.

A shudder ripped through him, and Bobby finally saw the gun that Mike was holding against his chest. "She is miserable being stuck here and taking care of me. I can see it every time she looks at me. Why should I keep putting her through that?"

Bobby slowly perched himself on the edge of the bed, while keeping a distance between himself and Mike. "Mike, you know that she doesn't feel that way. She's helping you because she loves you, not because she feels bad for you or because she's forced to. She's doing it because she wants to," he reiterated. "You know, she wouldn't let anyone else take care of you. She fought tooth and nail to be able to take you home with her."

Mike shook his head and tightened his grip on the gun, and Bobby's eyes widened. "Carolyn," he called quietly, and Mike's eyes widened.

"Don't bring her into this!" he snarled.

"Carolyn," Bobby called her again, this time more loudly. "Can you come in here?" There was silence, then the door slowly creaked open, and Carolyn walked into the room. Her gaze skittered between Bobby, Mike, and the gun, but she remained calm as she stopped beside Bobby.

"Mike?" she asked, and Mike's hands trembled. "Please, give me the gun." She reached one hand toward him, but his grip tightened on the gun again.

"He thinks that you'll be better off without him," Bobby informed her softly, and tears brimmed in her eyes.

Ignoring the gun, she dropped to her knees in front of Mike and looked up at him, her hands gripping his knees as tears spilled from her eyes. One trembling hand went up to cup his cheek, and she whispered, "Mike, I would never be okay if you were... if you died. Please, don't do this."

His hand lowered fractionally, and she reached up and pried the gun out of his hand, then handed it to Bobby. Once Bobby had the gun, Carolyn let out a sob and pulled Mike into her arms, crushing him against her chest.

"Please don't ever do that again," she pleaded into his hair, and he shuddered against her. "I can't lose you. I love you so damn much, Mike."

Bobby watched the two for a few more seconds, then rose to his feet and walked out of the bedroom, placing the gun on the top of the fridge and scribbling a short note down before he left the apartment.

A cramp in her leg made Carolyn rise to her feet, and Mike watched her as she walked around to the other side of the bed. "Come here, Mike," she said quietly as she laid down on her side, her head propped up by a multitude of pillows. He looked at her for a few moments, then slowly complied.

She helped him lie down on his side, with his back against her front, and she draped one slender arm over his waist, locking him to her. "Mike, why did you really want to kill yourself?" she asked finally, propping her head up with her free arm.

He pressed closer against her before answering, as though he would be safer from his answer if he was in her arms. "I'm scared, Carolyn," he answered softly.

"What are you scared of, sweetheart?"

"Of them," he blurted out, and she was confused.

"Who's them, Mike?"

"The bastards who did this to me. I'm scared that theyre going to come back, and I'm scared to hell that they are going to finish what they started," he finally confessed in one breath. "I'm also scared that you won't be there to help me." He started to pull out of her arms, but she pulled him back to her and rested her cheek against his shoulder.

"Mike, I don't know what to say to make you feel safe and realize that no one can hurt you again, but I can promise you this. As long as I'm breathing, I won't let anyone, and I mean _anyone_ touch you in _any_ way that you don't want them to. You're here with me, and I'll even quit my job and stay with you, if that's what it takes to make you feel safe until these sons of bitches are caught."

His breath caught in his chest at her declaration, and he turned his head to look at her in amazement. She pressed a chaste kiss to his lips, then looked into his eyes as she said, "I promise, Mike. I love you so much, that I can't even begin to describe it. When they hurt you, they hurt me, too. I won't ever let you go through that pain again. I won't."

Suddenly his lips were on hers, and she rolled onto her back, pulling him along with her so that he was straddling her. Unaware of anything else, she reached up and ran her hands under his shirt, trailing her fingers along his chest. He felt so warm under her hands, and she ran her fingers through his hair. His lips assaulted her neck, and she closed her eyes and moaned softly.

As he kissed her, a heat rose in his stomach, but along with it came unwanted memories. They assaulted him, overtook him, and before he knew what he was doing, he pushed Carolyn away and rolled off of the bed, landing on the floor on his hands and knees.

"Mike!" she cried, pushing herself out of the bed and falling to his side. He was breathing hard, his eyes screwed shut, and she reached out one trembling hand and gently touched his back. But he pulled away from her fast, as though she had scalded him, and she fell back and watched him with teary eyes.

When he finally calmed down again and looked at her, she scooted closer to him and warily touched his back, waiting for an immediate negative response. But there wasn't one, and she began to gently stroke his skin as she whispered, "God, Mike. I'm so sorry. That was so stupid of me. I didn't mean to..."

He looked at her with confusion and heartache in his eyes, and allowed her to gently help him back into the bed. Once she had finished tucking the blankets around him, she looked at him sadly, and he mumbled, "Why did this happen to me, Carolyn?"

"Baby, I don't know," she answered truthfully as she smoothed his hair back again. "Sometimes, people are just cruel, and their actions are unjustified."

He looked at her, watching her in a way that made her heart ache.

"I'm going to go to bed, okay?" she murmured, smoothing her hand over his cheek one more time. He didn't answer her.

She stood up and slowly walked to the door, but before she walked out, she turned and smiled at him. "I love you, Mike," she whispered before walking out of the bedroom.

He watched her go, and once she was gone, he rolled onto his side and pulled the blanket tighter around himself. The room was dark, and slivers of light bathed the room in an eerie glow. He hadn't been afraid of the dark since he was a small child, but suddenly he felt like he was five years old again and the boogeyman was under the bed and waiting to drag him under there.

He knew he could call for Carolyn, and that she would either climb into the bed with him, or bring him back into her bedroom to lie down with her. Either seemed like a much more appealing alternative to lying there and thinking about everything that had happened to him over the past few months.

He knew that he would have to face what had happened to him sooner or later. But right then, all he wanted to do was to curl up in Carolyn's arms and let her hold him and tell him that everything would be just fine.

He sighed and rolled over onto his other side. How had he come to rely so heavily on her? Before all of this, he didn't need anyone. He never had. But she had been there through everything, never once complaining when he woke up and called for her in the middle of the night, or when he pushed her away. He didn't deserve that kind of devotion and love, but she gave it to him wholeheartedly and without reserve.

He looked at his wrists, where the bruises had almost completely faded from the ropes that were used to hold him down. Lifting up his shirt, he ran his fingertips over the nearly invisible cuts and bruises that still lingered, and he shuddered as an ice cold voice cut through his consciousness.

"You'll never be rid of me, Mike."

He screwed his eyes shut and pulled the covers over himself, burying his face in the pillow. Invisible hands clawed at his blanket, and he gasped and rolled out of the bed, landing feet first on the carpeted floor. He tried to call out for Carolyn, but he couldn't breathe, and he flung his bedroom door open and stumbled into the living room. He heard Carolyn's door open, and the next thing he knew, she was pulling him into her bedroom and slamming the door shut behind them.

"Mike? Mike, what is it?" she demanded, her hands frantically roaming over his body. He didn't answer her, and she dropped down to her knees in front of him. "Mike, what happened, baby? What's wrong?" she asked again, and he shook his head and attempted to control his breathing. "Please, talk to me, baby."

He reached his arms out to her, and she took him into her arms and leaned back against the foot of the bed. "Shh," she whispered over and over again as her hand slowly stroked his hair.

When he finally was calm enough to speak, he choked out, "They... they were in there. They were trying to kill me. God, Carolyn, they were in there!" He started shaking again, and she pulled him tightly to her chest, then began rocking him in her arms.

"Mike, no one's in there," she soothed, but he shook his head and buried his face in her shoulder. "Sweetheart..." She gently slid out from under him, then rose to her feet, and he watched in horror as she opened her door and walked out, leaving him alone in the room.

A few minutes later, she came back into the room and stood in front of Mike. "Baby, there's no one in your bedroom. I checked and rechecked. I promise, there's nothing in there," she swore, but he shook his head. Reaching down, she asked, "Mike, would it make you feel better if you slept in my room tonight?"

He looked at her in amazement, then gave her a small, wordless nod. She took that as a yes and helped him to his feet, then untucked the other side of the bed. "Come on and lie down," she said gently as she walked around to her side of the bed and laid down. He followed her, and once he was under the blankets, she pulled him against her front and slid one arm over his waist protectively. "Go to sleep, Mike," she whispered as she laid her own head on a pillow. "I'm right here."

He waited until she was asleep, then he slowly turned over in her arms and studied her sleeping face. Even in her sleep, her worries and troubles seemed to linger over her. Her brow was furrowed, and her mouth was turned in a small frown.

"Why me? Why do you want me?" he whispered, moving closer against her. At the movement, a small moan passed her lips, and she reached out for him in her sleep. He slid closer to her, until his forehead was resting against hers, and her arms had wrapped around him again.

He just didn't understand it. Here was this beautiful, intelligent, compassionate, funny and saucy woman, and she wanted to take care of him. She wanted him, even after knowing everything that had happened to him. He was broken and used. Why would she want a man who wasn't even a man anymore? Who panicked whenever she tried to touch him, or couldn't even sleep in his room without having nightmares.

Disgusted with himself, he tried to slip from her grasp. But she tightened her arms around him and whispered his name in her sleep. "Mike." He looked at her in amazement, and as he relaxed in her arms, he saw a content smile appear on her face.

TBC...

A/N: Okay, there ya'll go! Now please review while I work on my newest MikeCarolyn story, Behind Brown Eyes.


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